air show

this prep air show today was so loud at times i felt nauseous and crumbled up notebook to stuff into my ears. a group of kids from the make-a-wish foundation were invited, who started screaming when the f-16s twisted and turned over the tarmac or came shooting over our heads. even the little deaf boy cried because of the vibrations in his body.tomorrow we'll be out there again all day...baking in the sun, shooting maneuvering planes that give me some sort of air noise ptsd.

brigham skate park

it's where the cool kids hang.

mom and son

as i was shooting a stand-alone of the us air force band, i saw these two share a moment there....

baaaaseball's back

at a six-hour baseball marathon of two back-to-back games i had some time to look the other way.

come fishy fishy....

catfish for consumption

grrrls r us

with noodles, umbrellas and pbr out by the reservoir.

+/- 8

micha's jet lag.

hh

i wish i'd had more time to walk around and shoot. i squeezed off most photos en route to some other appointment, lunch or train departure. in hamburg we finally went on a walk along the elbe river with a little more time to breathe, a little more time to take in the surroundings.

die liebste ise

("my god, you're so pretty!" for all non-german speakers, it's what the mirror says)

Clärchens Ballhaus

Mario and Gypsy took me here: large blind mirrors riddled with shrapnel, a floor that still carries the dirt from pre-war dance festivities and lit with nothing but candle light and a chandelier reaching down from the ceiling. we had a bottle of rosé and listened to a band of four fine gentlemen.

life is fleeting II

i wanted to sit by your bed and keep holding your hand. i resented the fact that i was responsible enough to catch that plane and go back to work. and then i'm out the door and life keeps rolling on. and i keep swallowing that little ball of pain that tells me to go see you and for once not care about being an adult with a life centered around a full time job with benefits. and instead sit by your bed and keep holding your hand, as my heart tells me to do.

airborne

there was little time to breathe, rushing to see family, friends and running to meetings, crisscrossing the country. here to munich for the day.

berlin calling

i went back home for the first time in a year and a half. it's this weird feeling i get of being estranged but at the same time belonging there. i never consciously feel german until i'm there. and i notice all the things i'd forgotten along the way. i sometimes ask myself what i'm doing over here but that only lasts until i remember what i've got. its nice to think of what has happened since i left, and to appreciate a little more my city that surely i can always come back to. anyway...

The rocks | they will always hold in the sea | and erosion can't stop their being | oh no currents can defeat them | and I am thankful for the love | these rocks have always given

And although | this boat is steady now | one wave could pull me under | and I'll be stranded out at sea | and I will pray that those rocks | will be there for me

(Noah and the Whale)

happy birthday blog

it's been a year on the blog, so let's see...the photo part of my life is sort of split into a short last semester in college during which i figured out that seeing life through a camera was more me than typing it up on a page. i somehow slipped into a job in connecticut. was somehow lost, somehow clueless about photography. how i made it into the american diversity project three months later, i don't know. but that's where the other part starts. a year ago i roamed rural kentucky in search of photos i didn't shoot nor see and i felt so bad i didn't think i had the right to ever touch a camera again. ever. i was blown away by everyone's work and wanted to curl up into a ball most of the time. or eat my card instead of handing it over to the editors every day. at the same time i've probably never wanted to get better at something so bad so urgently and so passionately. i sensed there was this way of expressing myself and finding access to a world i already loved. photography quietly moved beyond feature/spot news/general news and sports action trapped in some angsty portfolio to a raspy voice coming from within me. and somewhere in between i started to see. sporadically here and there but enough to keep going.
this last year is a dense accumulation of meeting some of the nicest and most open people i ever have. of being present in life. of appreciating and celebrating humanity and hurting over the bullshit we often turn it into. i've slipped into this photo community that has been an ever-expanding safety net sprinkled with adventures and pure goodness.
i still want to swallow my card and donate my camera to the kid on the corner about every other day. but maybe i've grown more OK with that. i mean somewhat maybe. and at least i've found people who can carry me through. who've at some point also wanted to swallow that gig of memory in plastic.
i know words often are scarce on this blog. so excuse my mile-long post but i had to get this out. thanks!

remembering his brother

whose favorite color was blue and who would have been 42 today. hadn't he been killed crossing the street from the 7eleven three weeks ago.

what it is i like

oi! it's the kid's badass glasses.

rehearsal

utah outback

at a story about backcountry horsemen there was a boy with red hair and white skin.

loss

@ HS soccer