Wednesday, July 28, 2010

why am i here?

Right after Christopher Kirvan, 17, fell to his death trying to climb a rock face at Ogden's Waterfall Canyon, I sat at the trailhead with my camera and watched his family trickle in.
With the light fading fast I saw one by one hearing the terrible news and while the shutter clicked relentlessly, my heart told me to pack up and let them grieve in private.
I also remembered Trent's blog post a while back, sharing some readers' thoughts about his photo of essentially the same scenario.
I don't often feel doubtful about shooting private situations but every once in a while I search for a reason why I should be there and why our readers need to see Kirvan's sister (below) having probably worst moment of her life. It's easy to figure out what my editor wants in this case and it's relatively easy to point my lens and shoot. But as I took home their cries ringing in my ears I just couldn't find a real reason that made me feel truly OK to be there. But then maybe it would be weird if that shot were easy to take. Or if the events didn't touch me. I think about photos of grieving people I have seen and how they often make me appreciate photojournalism for its power to make you relate. So then I hope that sometimes maybe the true meaning of a photograph reveals itself over time and not in the moment it was taken.

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